Monday, January 24, 2011

Act :)

Have you ever had a sermon knock your socks of?? Well today while balancing spreadsheets at work and listening to Andy Stanley's latest sermon it knocked me the core. He was talking about how sometimes we hide behind our prayers. God does say to pray, but sometimes he says to act. Andy said something that shook me. God doesn't repeat himself. He has spoken. His word speaks about everything we struggle with. He talks about sex before marriage. He says DON'T do it. He talks about worry…He says DO NOT WORRY. He talks about fear… He says "Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." James 1:9. He talks about our finances and what we should do with them. So if God says do it, then we should do it. It is so much easier said than done this I know. I need to start taking responsibility for my life. I need to start standing and doing something and yet as I'm writing and this and I'm shaking with fear because to start standing and acting is totally out of my comfort zone. I need to start getting off my knees and acting. I'm realizing I really do hide behind my prayers. I love to pray and talk to God, but maybe I need to stop talking to him and start acting towards him. I mean I will still talk to him because if I didn't have that conversation with him my life would crumble, but I need to start standing firm in my faith. I wonder if God really does get tired of reminding of the same stuff everyday that sometimes he ignores us for a little while until we get the point on our own. He is in control. He has already told us what we need to know and do. We just have to act and start trusting and standing firm in what He says. I wonder what God has in store for this year because I can feel things stirring strong and my eyes, ears, and heart are open so much wider this year. I know I am not perfect in anyways trust me.. I'm not. I struggle with so much inward quilt and a little anger that God and I are still working through!

Saturday I took a little soul searching day. I woke up with the need to get close to God so I read, fasted, slept, cleaned, read, laundry, read, sat on the couch and just thought and prayed, and read some more. I didn't turn the TV or computer on until like 10 at night and you know what I found out… I'm crazy! :) jk no I found that being still and learning and opening my heart to God is truly amazing how he reveals himself. Negative thoughts kept popping into my head all day and I know that was just my inward guilt eating at me and telling me I should lose myself in TV because that is better than what reality has in store and you know what I told that guilt…shut up… God has me wrapped in his arms and loving me!! He wants me to start being who I truly am!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

White As Snow

I am sitting in my living room with all the lights out (except the computer screen) watching the snow falling to the ground. As much as I really hate snow, it really is beautiful. I think it is God's way of reminding us to be still. Our lives are so chaotic with running from place to place that God puts in "Snow Days". The whole world seems so quiet when it snows. I've been told that I'm weird because I love quiet. I love finding a comfortable place to just sit, whether it is my living room or outside when it is warm. I love to sit and be still. I love to have no distractions and just let my thoughts roam and wonder. It helps me figure out what is wrong and really listen to what I need to hear. My sister tells me she can't stand the quiet because it makes her think. I'm like duh!! It's suppose to. God wants us to be still. He tell us to. "Be Still and know that I am God". He wants us to relish in the fact that He is GOD!! He is magical. He can use these little snowflakes and turn a whole countryside into white glistening beauty.

In our bible study we were challenged to really listen and watch what we take in. So today I really listened and you know what I found out. Not very biblical worldview. I found myself listening to gossip, feeling jealousy because I think someone has a better life than me, pride in my work, are only a few of the craziness wrapped into one day. I really need to need put on my Jesus goggles and focus on what is right and really need to start bringing my biblical worldview into my everyday world!!! :) I need to wake up tomorrow morning and pray that all the snow is off the roads so I can go into work with a new and fresh look at reality.

On a side note for anyone reading this... please pray for a co-worker of mine who's dad is not doing so good and is getting some tests done that might end with the dreadful Cancer word, and pray for a friend of mine who looking for a new job to expand her work experience, for a friend who is battling the dumb cancer and is fighting strong!! and please pray for a friend who struggling with the lost of a loved one and who is fighting everyday to wake up the morning and getting through the day. Lord, I know you hold all of us in your hands and for that I am so grateful because we are a lost world without you. Give strength to those who need strength, and rest to those who need rest. Encourage us to be alive for you and to let your world view shine through. I Love you, Lord so much In Jesus name Amen.

Monday, January 17, 2011

A new Year, New Beginnings

Well to start off the new Year we were in Atlanta celebrating Jesus with 22,000 students. Lets just say being there in that arena was probably the closest thing to Heaven here on earth until next year of course with 60,000 students! But when our captain told us this was might be the closest thing to Heaven and that we should celebrate in that fact. I did celebrate and now as I am thinking about it almost three weeks later I have tears in my eyes because that was magical! When we are with Passion I feel like I'm in the right place at the right time and I never want to leave it and sometimes it doesn't seem real because of all the emotion and amazing things that happen and the happiness that surrounds that weekend. It is totally of God. I sometimes feel like all the worldly stuff is gone for a few days and Jesus is so alive in that place. It just amazing!! When we left I kinda felt I left this family behind and I have to start fresh and keep Jesus alive in my soul, but being back in what I call the "real world" is tough with all these temptations on every corner and people don't talk about Jesus on a daily basis and I feel like I have to guard my heart. It's sad because I want that little piece of Heaven everyday and some days I get it, and some days I can't seem to even find where Heaven is.

I sometimes lose myself in these imaginary worlds that leave me feeling so happy and then I come back to reality and I realize I'm not really that happy you know. These imaginary worlds are just that imaginary and selfish and full of pride and I know I need to live in reality more often. Reality is so hard to deal with sometimes. It hurts, It's sad, It's painful. There is so much devastation in this world that I know if I just close my eyes I will be in a place that is happy. I know I sound a little crazy and hey maybe I am, but I do know one thing I need to step out of my world and into this wonderful reality that Jesus has created for us. I need to cut back on what I put into my brain. I need to say no to TV and say yes to THE BIBLE!!! I need to start taking time out of my day and focus on what is really important JESUS!!!!

We are starting a new bible study at our church called Wide Angle which is perfect because I would so love a wide angle lens!! :) What I want to get out of this bible study is a new world view!! I want to view the world differently and I want my brain to be re-directed and recharged. I am going to try and blog more this year during this bible study. I don't know why but when I write I feel better and it helps me focus so I'm lets see what happens!!