So many changes....

The words are not coming tonight, but I feel like I should blog. Ten months ago today God brought this wonderful man into my life. I am so lucky and blessed that God placed him at the right time and the right place. All of my life I wondered why God made me single for so long, and now I know it was worth the wait. I know single people don't want to read this blog because if I were single I wouldn't want to hear another story about how a girl found a guy. But my story is crazy. It took me 30 years to find someone and fall in love. 30 years of tears, lonelyness, jealousy, anger, and wonderful memories that I wouldn't have had if I met someone years ago. I thank God for that time because it grew me into the woman I am today. Without those years I wouldn't know how lucky and blessed I am. When Jason walked into my life ten months ago I remember his smile and being so nervous that apparently I told him to be quiet, (which is something we will argue about for a very long time.) Crazy what we remember. If I am honest with myself, I never really thought I would fall in love. I thought maybe it was always a dream, but not reality. I feel like I might wake up someday and it was all a dream. But it's not. It's real. God brought a wonderful man into my life that makes me smile every day and when I am with him I am the woman I always wanted to be. His love for people and for Christ makes me strive to be better. Being in a relationship has already taught me so much about myself. I've learned that to be honest is the best key, don't hold things in. To laugh at ourselves because we are silly and say crazy things. To love each other is to love each others fears, struggles, tears, weaknesses, happiness, successes, clumsiness, and failures. Falling in love is a miracle from God. When I read about Jesus and His love for us it is the perfect example of how to love in a relationship. I always knew this and try every day to love like Jesus, but being in a relationship with Jason I have got to experience it in full. Like Jesus, Jason loves me despite my craziness and messed up world. He loves me for me and I love him for who is he. Our relationship is by far perfect, no ones is, and it has its struggles, but through it I'm already having fun watching us grow and getting to know him better everyday. He amazes me everyday because He loves like Jesus and trust me when they say "look at how your man treats his mom and the other women in his life." because if it is true then I'm lucky!! I'm crying as I write this because I am so lucky and I'm realizing that a few years ago I was crying out to Jesus, why am I waiting? Why am I so lonely and sad? Why God why? I now know why. I wasn't ready and God knew that. His timing is perfect. His timing is not ours. His timing is His control. And I am so glad because his timing is proving to be way better than I could have dreamed. God took my dreams, and made them better. I can't wait to see what the future holds!!!

Pizza & Movie

Tonight I went over to my parents house and my mom made something as simple as making our own pizzas and watching a movie so much fun. We sliced and diced our peppers and onions along with jalapenos, hamburger, and pepperoni to put on our pizzas. Mom didn't put jalapeno or onions because well she is a wuss! But that fact that she got those items meant she was thinking of me because no one in my family but me and my grandpa like jalapenos. It meant a lot. :) It was fun we talked about what is going on and laughed at our silliness. It was one of those days I hope to someday have with my children.

We make life so complicated, because we think we deserve more, or we want more, or we are bored so we over think things, but it really is the simple things in life like hanging out in the kitchen slicing and dicing that makes life worth living. It is sharing laughter with family, friends and co-workers that get us through the day. It is a simple meow or a dog jumping on you to let you know you are loved by them. It is a star shining bright in the sky to remind you that you are truly loved by the God who made that star and its makes you smile. Knowing that you are loved by the one who created the stars, the flowers, the ocean, the mountains, the animals, that is what really makes life seem doable. When you wake up in the morning and you grab your bible, turn on JoyFM, and just revel in the moment that you are alive again for another day. I know this entry really sounds like rainbows & butterflies, but guess what? Somedays life is rainbows & butterflies!

Stars

Tonight I actually looked up at the stars for the first time in a very long time and I was brought to tears because I had a realization that I am loved by the one who made those stars.

Thats it for tonight! :) short and sweet.

Be Strong and Courageous

Did you know that in Joshua Chapter One it states "Be Strong and Courageous" four times, ten times overall in the whole bible? I've learned that if God repeats something in His word over and over again it is because He is trying to tell you something. To think out of only 18 verses this is mentioned four times. I think God wants us to be strong and courageous. I love how when God wants to get his point across He does have to repeat himself. He must have known us humans are forgetful. We have to be reminded over and over again how we are loved and cherished. How we need to not fear because He is control. How we are forgiven and have been given grace. He know us all to well!!

I also learned that Joshua the name means "The Lord Saves." That would be cool to have that meaning because then you already know going into life, that the Lord has already saved you. Michelle means "One is who is like the Lord" and Cathleen means "Pure." When I first found out what my name meant I'm not going to lie...it scared me. One who is like the Lord? That is so not me. I'm far from it! Now Cathleen that one I get, that one makes since. God says he knows our names before we are even thought of. I did some research and looked up people's names, like my sister. Her name means "honeybee" and it is so her because the woman never stops going. She is like the energizer bunny! I want her energy! It really is cool to see where our names come from and what they mean because God gave us those names for a reason even if we don't get it. I do wander about the famous people with their weird names like Apple... why did God give them those names? A question I will ask him someday.

I'm studying Joshua right now and really digging into the history and trying to really grasp what it is God wants us to get out of it. I'm reading An Introduction to the Old Testament Historical Books by David M. Howard Jr., and so far I find it interesting and confusing. I'm not used to actually reading school books so this is a new step for me. I started this once, but gave up because it got hard, this time however, I'm going to try my hardest to not give up. I want to dig into the word with everything I got. I pray that I will gain understanding of these pages and see what God is showing me through them along with the 40 Days in the Word bible study our church is doing right.

:)

Take Control

Lord, take control over my life. Open my heart to your heart. Open my eyes to you see your will for my life. You are in control and I want my life in your hands, not mine. Yours are perfect, mine are covered in sin. Take my life and use it for your will. I can't get through this life without you. I need you, Lord and I will not be afraid of what the future holds because I know without a doubt that you are the savior and the rescuer. I know the next few months are not going to be easy and I pray that you will give strength and encouragement when needed. I pray that you will send Love down here and will restore. I pray that you will use this craziness for your will. I pray that you will use us to show Love, mercy and grace. I can't do this alone!! I need you, Lord. We need you! Please take control and guide us through.

I love you Jesus more than anything!!!

In Jesus name,
Amen

Bored on a Friday Night!!!!

What does one do on a Friday night by herself when trying to avoid the treadmill!! I photograph and watch TV!!! I gotta say this was the first time I picked up my camera since January 2nd and it felt pretty great. I'm sitting on the couch right now staring at the treadmill and decided to blog to avoid it. Don't worry when I get done with this awesome blog entry I will be getting on the evil contraption!! It will become my friend before this evening is over with. It is a good thing I have plans for the rest of this 3 day weekend or else I feel sorry for all my friends because when I'm bored I do some dumb stuff like take photos of remote controls! :) And I wonder why I feel chunky...it couldn't be because of a McChicken from McDonalds or my blogging instead of working out. I need my coach dog! This is I think the weirdest blog entry and for that I'm sorry, but I hope I made you laugh!! :)

Valentine's Day

Today was the best Valentine's Day I think I have ever had. It started off rocky but ended awesome! When I got to work I had a reeses sitting at my desk, which let's face it when you work at an office that is exciting to see! Work went by slow, but then I met up with Melissa and Angie and we went to dinner at 54Th Street Grill (which the food is delicious!). While we were sitting there laughing and talking Melissa noticed a lady sitting by herself. Being Valentine's Day we immediately thought "how sad" and started making up stories as to why she was there by herself like she got stood up or just wanted good food and some other crazy stories I can't remember. I was with Angie and that girl has an imagination, we even thought maybe she was having a date with God. This lady was an older lady wearing red, but even though she was sitting by herself she was smiling. She seemed perfectly content sitting by herself in a crowded restaurant. I wish I had that kind of confidence. Anyways, as we were leaving we talking about how we would never know how the rest of her evening went or so we thought. We went to this new church because they were having a singles discussion session and thought what better way as singles on Valentine's Day to spend our evening than in church with other singles. When we got there guess who was there...that's right the lady from the restaurant. We figured out why she was smiling. She has the greatest love of all, she has found her prince charming and his name is JESUS CHRIST!! She was content being alone on Valentine's Day, and carrying it with a smile. She gets it! I hope someday when we are in heaven we will get to share with her how awesome she made our Valentine's Day!!!

I am so blessed that God has given me a wonderful family and today I am so thankful that He gave me Melissa & Angie. When the three of us are together it is never boring. We get each other and laugh and are just plain crazy. They are there for me when no one else is, even when this girl always chooses the bathroom stall that is always out of toilet paper, they are there to rescue me. So for them two I want to thank you for being the other two our crazy Three Musketeers!!!